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Yo
Jo
a
column by Joanne Casiello
Send
Joanne your question about homeschooling. Either email info@ahem.info
with Attn: Joanne in the subject field, or write to Joanne, c/o
AHEM, PO Box 1307, Arlington, MA 02474.
"Do
Homeschoolers Go to College?"
Yes.
There, that was an easy question to answer. "How do they
do it?" is a much more complicated question as there are
as many ways to pursue a college education as there are homeschoolers.
And for me, the most complicated question, "Do they have
to go to college?"
More
than seventeen years ago when we began homeschooling our sons,
we dreamed a dream. Our dream, our goal, was to take our children
out of a schooled environment and allow them to grow, to discover
and develop their natural gifts and find the ways to use them
in this world. We strongly believed (and still do) that each child
is born "gifted." As parent-educators we saw our role
as facilitators providing opportunities. Everyone we knew who
homeschooled, from unschoolers to school-at-homers, shared the
idea of developing gifts. It was a lovely and lofty dream.
It
all got kind of squirmy feeling when our fourth son decided not
to go to college. He has been building things for me since he
was about two years old. At eight he could look at a hole in a
stone wall, glance at a pile of rocks and casually pick up the
rock that would fit that hole. At ten he completed the hands on
physics class that his older brother were part of. So, I was thinking,
architect, engineer? It took all of the tongue-biting talent I
had developed as the mother of teens to be silent when he said,
"Construction worker, carpenter."
So
I switched gears and read everything I could about mentoring a
kid to a career in carpentry. One book urging parents not to worry
about no college suggested that if we simply trusted our children
and gave them all of the money that we would have spent on college
to start their own business we would find they are successful.
Swell. The money in our son's college fund was gone with the wind
of the recent stock market crash. We talked to folks at the local
voke school who suggested it was not the place for a motivated,
hard-working kid like our son. We contacted state agencies for
info about apprenticeships and education. They would send us union
listings of educational opportunities which included four years
of classroom as well as hands on time. My son wanted to be out
in the world, not sitting in a classroom. For a fee, state agencies
would send us non-union information. We contacted non-union apprenticeship
organizations - none available in our area. We found opportunities
in fine furniture making, instrument making - not his interest.
One school of carpentry only accepted schooled kids! It was our
son, through the friend of a friend from an internship he did
in construction while in high school, who found himself a job
as a carpenter.
Two years later I am amazed and proud of the growth of this talented
son of mine. He lives on his own, pays his bills, bought a truck,
shops, cooks, and cleans. His all-nighters may be a contracted
job with a deadline. His final exams involve building inspectors
signing off on the addition he built, or having the cabinet he
designed and built in the shop fit perfectly at the customers'
business. Because he is part of a small, new company he has been
able to use his web skills to develop the company website, his
CAD skills in design, his video skills to document the work and
provide comic relief.
Practical
Language Arts Suggestions for a Newbie
A
reader wrote that her kinesthetic learning style son was really
resistant to studying Language Arts. She didn't want to frustrate
him as homeschooling was a new adventure for them, but felt the
need to work on this area where his abilities were way behind
his other skills.
All
four of my adult sons write. Right-brained, left-brained, visual,
auditory, kinesthetic learners - they all write. Most recently
my third son was amazed at the As he was receiving on hastily
written college papers which he felt could have used a rewrite
in a class where students did receive Fs on the same assignment.
The following suggestions are some things that worked for my sons.
Personal
Journals
Each son wrote for a minimum of fifteen minutes a day in a personal
journal on anything that came into their heads. We never checked
spelling, punctuation, or grammar, and indeed I never read the
books unless invited to do so. The first goal was to get them
writing spontaneously and consistently. Initially entries were
often about how much they hated to write and had nothing to say,
went on to a sort of grocery list of activities for the day, evolved
into descriptions, grew into emotional essays, and morphed into
poetry that became lyrics to songs they had written. They now
enjoy rereading their old journals with me to see how they have
grown.
Conversational
Journals
Each son wrote a paragraph a day on his choice of topic, or started
a story. After he went to bed, I read the paragraph and responded
with one of my own, or continued the story. A favorite starting
exercise would be the unluckily/luckily story. One person starts
an adventure story and at a crucial moment ends their section
leaving the hero hanging. The nest storyteller starts their paragraph
with, "But luckily," or "But unluckily" and
gets the hero out of the predicament or into more trouble. In
my paragraph I would use words that were misspelled in the son's
paragraph, spelled correctly. I would correct grammar or punctuation
errors by using a similar construction correctly. That way the
visual kids saw the errors corrected gently.
Correction
Journals
I would write a paragraph from one of their textbooks into their
journal with spelling, punctuation, capitalization, or grammar
errors. They would rewrite the paragraph correcting the errors,
then check their work by reading the paragraph in their textbook
and highlighting the correct parts of the paragraph. This meant
they had read the material from the textbook that they needed
to learn three times, had used muscle memory in rewriting the
information, and had a good visual of the correct information
correctly written and highlighted in their visual memory.
Computer
Story Journals
Each son kept a file with his original stories on our computer
to be worked on in his free time. I didn't read the stories unless
invited to do so. The computer automatically points out errors
in grammar and spelling so his work was corrected painlessly with
an immediate visual key. Of course, homonyms present difficulties,
but the idea was to keep the kids writing.
Homeschool,
Trade Journals, and other Publications
We started a Family News Publication that came out every Friday
and was mailed to family and friends. Each member of the family
contributed. A homeschooled teen group published a Monthly News
for the members of the group. Our sons wrote articles for biking
magazines and soccer news groups.
Finished
articles for publication had to be a true finished piece with
everything correctly done. Rough drafts were edited in several
ways. Friends edited them online. The editors for the month suggested
corrections. I read articles aloud to the authors so they could
hear their errors. We sat together and looked at articles on computer
and made corrections together (the most painful method). One highly
successful method was for me to read the article on computer.
When the kids were younger and tender to criticism I highlighted
everything that was correct leaving the parts that needed work
un-highlighted. Frustrated writers could then see that most of
their piece was great, with some rewrite necessary. As they got
older and recognized that most work (certainly including mine)
needs to be rewritten, I could highlight the errors or weak parts
and they could correct them.
Lessons
to be Learned
Someone
asked me if there was a lesson to be learned that I could share
about my son’s serious car accident. Drinking and driving?
Teenage capering with loud music and friends? Excessive speed
accompanied by young male bravado? No, none of these scenarios
apply. The only lesson we can come up with is that even though
you are a good, responsible kid, who doesn’t drink, does
run a bible study on your college campus, studies and works hard,
and drives carefully after a quiet afternoon with your family,
on a dark night really bad things can happen to you that you will
have to overcome.
It’s
a tremendous lesson to learn, the ability to overcome the challenges
we are presented with in life. To handle pain and suffering with
cheerfulness, to struggle to relearn tasks that were simple once,
to recognize that you are not the person you were before, and
to discover the person you are today, are all lessons that, if
successfully learned, lead to a resilient human who will live
a full life. I have never met a human who has not faced obstacles
to overcome in life. In our house we say, “Everyone has something,
so deal with yours and get on with it.”
Of
all the learning we have done as homeschoolers, the ability to
overcome obstacles, to be knocked down and not only get up again,
but to laugh, sing, dance, and be strong again, has been the most
used and most useful. The flexibility of homeschooling is eminently
suitable to switching tracks and powering forward when life throws
a glitch in the plans your way. To set goals, accept realities,
and set new goals is a goal we have achieved.
When
my first son was a boy he wanted to be an astronaut. He had the
brains, the drive, the athletic ability, the courage. Unfortunately
he also had my 20-200 vision and grew too tall. So he broadened
his passion for space to science and math and eventually settled
happily into software engineering. My second son worked passionately
for years volunteering, studying, interning, and then almost days
away from completion he saw the dream crumble through no fault
of his own. He had to get up, turn around, and use the skills
he had developed over those years on a different career path.
My
own personality, at these set-backs, would prompt me to cover
my head in my comfy quilt, preferably with a good book, chocolate,
and a glass of wine and not come out again. As a parent and as
a homeschooling parent responsible for facilitating the education
of my offspring, I had to recognize that often the way I thought
things would work didn’t, in large and small situations.
Learning
to read, which came as naturally as breathing to my first three
sons, would require effort from my fourth son and special intervention
from me. My all or nothing method of attacking a subject was highly
successful with two of my sons, but my right- brained boys needed
a consistent structure of small, daily, time blocks of study to
learn.
So,
life teaches us over and over that goals and plans may need to
be adjusted; homeschooling allows us the flexibility to do so.
The
Reading Ties that Bind Us
On
November 27th two of my sons were in a terrible car accident.
It was nearly the one that happens in the nightmares of all parents
of teens, but my sons were alive and knew me. Two weeks later,
a gifted surgeon rebuilt half of my older son's face as I paced
in a waiting room at the hospital. The surgery went well. My son
was in recovery. I would speak to him soon. I sat and waited.
I waited
some more. I checked the time on my cell phone. Too long. Could
the patient advocate check on my son's status? She did. He was
still in recovery. He was not handling the pain well. They thought
he would need morphine. I shouldn't come in yet. I sat down to
wait. And then I began to think more like a homeschooler. What
the experts couldn't do, I, as a parent, very probably could.
Morphine
had made my son really ill without taking away much pain when
he had been given it in the emergency room on the night of the
accident and he had asked not to have any before he went into
surgery. I had experience helping sons deal with pain many times
(as the mother of four active sons who all played seriously competitive
sports over twenty five years I had come to know some emergency
room techs on a first name basis). I asked to speak with the recovery
room staff and five minutes later I was at my son's side.
His
pain level was at an eight. He was agitated. I cooled his hot
face with my cold hands. I helped him focus on the parts of his
body not in pain as we had taught our sons to do at home. He held
my hand, turned his face to me with eyes closed and said, "Mom,
could you read to me?"
So,
I found myself standing next to my young adult son, reading Terry
Pratchett's Moving Pictures (the book he had in his backpack)
softly aloud surrounded by machines beeping, blood pressure cuffs
inflating and deflating, automatic leg massagers massaging, patients
begging for morphine, nurses calling for help. And his pain went
from an 8 to a 3.
All
of those homeschooling years that we spent reading to our sons
had formed a bond of peaceful security, loving calm. At first
we read to them as they were weaned, we laughingly said, from
breast to book. Cuddled in our laps in the same cozy rocker that
we had used for nursing we read Goodnight Moon. We read books
to keep them occupied on long car trips. Once I recited Green
Eggs and Ham over and over for 35 minutes, the only thing that
would keep the baby from crying in his car seat. We read to them
because they didn't know how. We read to them as part of the good
night ritual at bedtime after they had learned to read. We read
aloud because we only had one copy of a really good book and no
one could wait to take turns to read it. Experts told us that
children who are read to will read and be more successful. Little
did I know that all that reading to my child would one day help
to ease his pain.
No
More Teaching to the Test
Dear
Joanne,
I've been homeschooling for two years. My kids are 9 and 10. I
still never feel as though I'm doing enough. I am so hung up on
testing, not sure whether it's going to show how well my children
are doing, because my curriculum is not on the same schedule (timeline).
I feel I am just making my kids frustrated and I'm feeling like
a failure. Do you have any advice?
Sincerely, R.
Dear
R.,
Toss
the tests over your shoulder and don't look back! Unless your
goal in homeschooling is to teach your kids how to be superb test
takers, there are a bazillion other ways to determine how "well"
your kids are doing. Tests have their place in society and the
ability to take all kinds of tests (essay, fill in the dot multiple
choice, and practical) is a good skill to learn along the way,
but it surely doesn't have to be the focus of your home education.
Flexibility
is the greatest good in homeschooling among the many gifts of
good things. If something isn't working for your child, drop it.
You don't have to fill the needs of the majority, use the only
materials the school administration purchased, or teach in the
mode currently fashionable as school classroom teachers have to
do. Suit the method to the child.
Take
some time to sit back and observe. Learn from your child. When
there is a skill that they want to gain, how do they go about
it? What was that child's style? Do they ride two wheeled bicycles?
Pay close attention to the way they gained that skill. One of
my sons, the organized left brained one, broke the task into pieces
with adult reinforcement of the idea of how to ride a bike. He
practiced each part, first gliding for a couple of weeks, feet
stuck out to the sides, then gliding feet-on-pedals, finally learning
to pedal. Our kinesthetic learner took his bike out to the backyard
alone in an all or nothing attempt for fifteen minutes, ran in,
furiously hopped up and down to express his frustration for five
minutes, ran back out for another all out physical attempt, back
in for more hopping, and so continued for about four hours at
which point he had entirely mastered the skill. Our third son
asked his brother to tell him how to ride a bike, the mechanics
and physics of the thing, before getting on his bike. Left-brained
verbal oldest son did a great job of explaining. Third son then
practiced with occasional sessions of questions on the physical
aspects allowing him to correct his technique. Fourth son watched,
and watched, and watched silently; got on his bike with perfect
mimicry of small muscle movements, and rode. We used what we observed
to choose the method of teaching for each child.
How
will you know when they have acquired a skill? They will use it,
and as a homeschooling mom, you will be there to see them do it.
Have them read to you and discuss what they have read in a casual
way as you might discuss a good book with a friend. Have them
use writing in practical ways such as making grocery lists. Start
a journal for just you and that child in which you write notes
to each other. Go to historical sites and encourage your kids
to tell you the stories of what happened there. Let them start
businesses of their own where they have to keep records, make
signs and brochures, and produce a product or service to sell.
Keep samples of their work, pictures of their projects, or their
entire business plan, to help remind you that they are learning
and growing. Watch them, interact with them, and enjoy them.
I also
agonized over how I was homeschooling my kids. Was I doing enough?
Too much? In the end, the kind of life that a child will create
or choose will ultimately depend on that child. And the very best
you can do is to remember to love them, hard, through it all.
Advice
on a Homeschooling Mom’s Freak Out
As
the big yellow school bus rolled away carrying the rest of the
kids in the neighborhood a young mother silently freaked out about
the decision she had made to homeschool her five year-old-daughter.
“What am I doing? This could be a really bad idea and I’m
going to ruin her life and she’ll hate me forever!”
she thought in a wonderful moment of absolute panic.
As the
mother of four young adults and aunt to 21 more kids from 7 -
33 years of age let me reassure that young mother that no matter
what decision you make about how to raise your child there will
come a time when that child will tell you it was wrong. There
will then come a later time when the child may decide to make
exactly the same decisions you did, with their own kids.
I have
added the mother’s prayer to my daily routine. “Dear
Lord, give them the strength to overcome any of the terrible things
I may have done.” My friend has her own version of the same
thing. She tells her teenagers, “Yeah, well when you are
adults in therapy because of me just make sure you tell the therapist
I love you.”
Another
solution to that feeling is to have several children. The more
kids you have the more you realize that you really don’t
have as much influence over their lives as you thought.
My sons
say that the reason all homeschool parents have that freaked out
feeling you describe is simple. When schooled kids turn out terribly
THEIR parents can blame the schools.
But
seriously, starting to homeschool is not like taking vows. You
can stop homeschooling anytime you want to stop (really, since
it is only mildly addictive). Your child is not yet five. If homeschooling
really doesn’t work for your family she can go to school
next year and have years to recover from your incompetence before
she is permanently damaged.
As to
the stakes being so high, there are some things you can do in
life that have immediate and irreversible repercussions. Stepping
out into the path of an oncoming truck could be one of them, but
many things you do in life can be reversed. If I overeat today
I can work it off at the gym tonight. If staying home doesn't
work for your child, she can go to school. Learning is a lifelong
process not one final exam. And you know what? Even if you fail
a final, you can take the class over.
Did
your daughter learn to walk and talk? Eat solid foods? Is she
toilet trained? Then you must have been homeschooling her all
along and didn't recognize it.
And
you know what? The worst feeling of freak out I had came as I
made the decision to homeschool, then disappeared for a long time
after we really experienced the joyful freedom of learning together
at home.
Some
at Home, Some at School
Can
you homeschool some children successfully while some of your other
children go to school?
Yes, of course, and many folks do so with great success and contentment
throughout the whole family. Built into my philosophy of homeschooling
is the job of facilitator: to find the best place and method to
learn what a child may want or need to learn. So, when my oldest
son decided to go to the Mass Academy of Math and Science for
his junior and senior year of high school, much to my surprise
he actually looked upon himself as still homeschooling rather
returning to school. In a speech he made at a teacher appreciation
banquet at the academy, to which he had invited his Dad and me,
he said we had always made it possible for him to seek the best
path to learn what he wanted to know, and that attending Mass
Academy was simply his current choice of where he would be homeschooling.
Yet,
I am glad we had the years being all together learning at home.
I once overheard a schooled friend shock my second son when he
stated matter-of-factly that his mother couldn't wait for school
vacation to be over so that he would be out of her hair. Wrapped
securely like a warm blanket around our homeschooling is the knowledge
of our sons that their parents like to be with them.
When
we were all at home we could suit our day to match our needs.
In glorious September sunshine we could decide to head to the
beach and study the tides. On cold, dark, November days we could
call a "drop everything and read day" dressed in pajamas,
wrapped in blankets, sipping hot chocolate. We could become heavily
involved in a research experiment and keep at it until bedtime.
Since no one had to get up at a specific time we could push bedtime
later if need be. We could visit museums and travel in off peak
seasons while other kids were schooling. Flexibility is my favorite
part of homeschooling.
Together
at home we shared the experience of the day. It was crucial that
the boys and I filled my husband and my oldest in with stories
of our day when they got home from work and school, in order for
them to slide back into their family place.
When
my oldest left our magic circle to return to school it was at
a time when he was already a fledgling, flexing his wings, and
clearly at a different stage of life than his brothers. At a similar
stage as they grew, each of my sons left the sibling nest and
ventured out alone into the world in internships or college classes
during their high school days.
If you
are comfortable with a schedule set from outside the family, if
you consistently seek what is right for each child at each point
in life, then having some kids schooled and some not may be a
natural progression. From my personal experience, homeschooling
was easiest and most productive when we were all homeschooling
together.
What
to Say When They Ask
A
new homeschooling mother once said she felt as if she were an
Alien trying to educate Earthlings on the topic of homeschooling.
Should she point out the advantages of homeschooling? Cite the
idea that parents know what is best for children? Change the subject?
I replied, "Yes. Depending upon which Earthlings you are
educating."
With
grandparents or others who truly love your child and also want
what is best for her, you reassure, point out advantages, point
out disadvantages of school, thank them for advice.
With
those who feel that your homeschooling is a silent attack on their
sending their child to school, you say that all of us are trying
to do the best for our families and this is the best choice for
you.
With
those who are truly asking why, you might encourage them to remember
their own school experiences and help them see how homeschooling
their child could be better. When they are concerned about socialization
get them to remember what school socialization is really like.
Remember bullies? Remember what recess was like? Remember being
homesick?
If you
are getting in touch with your inner female-of-the-dog-species,
you could point out how unnatural it is for anyone to want to
abandon their small, own flesh and blood to a bunch of strangers
to raise.
You
can tell them you had your child on purpose and plan to enjoy
every moment you have together.
I often
told my husband's Aunt, who had a very different philosophy of
life from mine, the most outrageous things. I told her we were
using little, plastic, educational placemats as our curriculum.
I told her I had no idea what other kids their age were capable
of and didn't care. I told her we never planned to wear shoes
and that my oldest was never planning to bathe again since he
was doing an experiment on bacteria and disease spread. She soon
stopped asking.
In choosing
to homeschool you have become a member of a minority, which means
that like any minority member you will sometimes be the only contact
those Earthlings have ever had with your kind. Your daughter will
be a poster child for her minority. That means when she comes
up with a new scientific theory, composes a masterpiece, and wins
a gold medal in the Olympics, those Earthlings will assume all
homeschoolers are like that. And if she stands up on stage when
accepting her Nobel Peace Prize, farts loudly, and picks her nose,
those Earthlings will assume all homeschoolers do that too. You
will be acclaimed saint or sinner depending upon the last piece
about homeschoolers in the news by those who don't really know
anything about homeschooling.
Your
mission, should you choose to accept it, is first to raise your
child in the best way that you can. Next, you should enjoy the
time you have together. And finally you must educate the world,
over, and over and over, one Earthling at a time.
Where
Do You Do Schoolwork?
"Where
do you do your schoolwork?" a visiting schooled child once
asked my son. My son was perplexed. "Where don't you do your
schoolwork?" would have been much easier to answer. From
that day forward we taught him to say, "The world is my classroom
and life is my teacher." It embodied our philosophy of education,
stopped questions and usually made the child's parents decide
we were left-over hippies. What follows is the true and complicated
answer to the schooled child's question.
While
our sons were growing up they each had a desk of their own which
was rarely used. In fact, we rarely used tables. We have only
recently begun to use chairs. Our kitchen table has a metal top.
It can be used as a fireproof bench for Chem lab, but table tops
can be a limiting space for projects. When one's feet may be the
paintbrush or one's body the canvas a table top is inadequate.
Projects and paperwork were usually spread across the floor.
The
kitchen floor is an easily washed linoleum where most painting,
gluing, sculpting, and wreathe making occurs. The living room
floor was hardwood that needed to be refinished. I never cringed
to hear toy trucks roll across it, physics experiments tumble,
or furniture rearranged to create a setting for a play. Once the
whole floor was covered by a giant piece of cardboard where our
small boys traced the outlines of their bodies then filled in
with pictures of their interior anatomy.
When we ran out of floor space we went up the walls. One wall
of the kitchen was a bulletin board that was simultaneously a
time line of World History and a place to dry hand woven baskets.
Living room walls ( and windows) were for mural painting and map
hanging. And of course all rooms were multi-functional.
The
12'x12' computer/sewing/library/trophy room also served as a place
to put projects in progress when guests came and we needed to
use the living room. Currently what would be the 12'x15' living
room on most floor plans does have a sofa and TV but also the
full size upright piano, spinet organ, the guitars, trumpets,
saxophone, sousaphone, recorders, amplifiers, harmonicas, percussion
instruments, shelves of music, microphones, and a video camera.
Craft materials are stored in my bedroom on shelves that go from
floor to ceiling. The basement is used to do metal and wood work,
laundry, bike repair, can be rearranged as a setting for DVD productions.
At one
time, the two youngest boys each built a private cubicle which
had their desk, computer (unattached to the Internet), and bureau.
As far as I can tell Damon used his to deposit piles of clean
laundry. Gabe used his to get away from all of us occasionally
and to write in his journal.
The
yard had a garden for each child. In the spring the rounded raised
beds of varying lengths of freshly turned earth looked suspiciously
like new graves and were a source of some apprehension for new
neighbors. Also adorning the back yard are a full size soccer
net, a volleyball net, a basketball hoop, a tree house, a campfire
circle, shitake mushroom logs, and a tire swing. It has had a
miniature golf course, a tiny framed clubhouse, holes to China,
prayer places, obstacle courses, pitch backs, swing sets, snow
sculptures, a sandbox big enough to bury a brother in, a dog run,
and recycled junk sculptures. Not too long ago it was the setting
for the scene from the fifth act of Hamlet where everyone dies.
The
driveway was for learning to ride two wheeled bikes, practicing
writing the alphabet in chalk, setting up a big wheel car wash,
yard sales, spray painting picnic tables, and learning to change
the oil on your truck. Learning took place in every nook and cranny
of our home, our yard, our car and spilled over into the rest
of the world. So, schooled child, where do we do our schoolwork?
Wherever we live and breathe, we learn.
Homeschooling:
The Adventure Never Ends
I'm
sure it was only yesterday that we began homeschooling our four
sons here in Worcester, MA, but when I glance around the house
I can't help noticing that I am the only one home. One of our
goals of homeschooling was to raise independent children who would
discover their gifts and go out into the world to use them. And
they do.
I'd
like to say that it was my infinite skill, wisdom, and patience
as a homeschooling parent that inspired my sons to become the
capable adults and nearly adults that they are now, but my sons
might read this, and they keep me honest.
A homeschool
support list member, impressed that my sons enjoy singing in choirs
and rock bands and play musical instruments, asked me how I had
accomplished this. I wrote about singing to them from before they
were born, always having musical instruments available, providing
music instructors, playing music together. Third son looking over
my shoulder said, "Um, if we were practicing music you wouldn't
call us to come do our math homework."
So my
four sons learned to be self-motivated, active learners because
as long as they looked productive, I didn't stop and make them
do something else. They learned rapidly that if they mentioned
boredom, I might suggest they clean their rooms. If they fought
with each other, I might decide it was a good time for a spelling
lesson. Small boys engrossed in building with Legos, writing plays,
painting pictures, designing science experiments, repairing bicycles,
reading books, creating costumes, editing videos, inventing mechanical
devices, or raising livestock were not interrupted.
From
their parents' example they learned what they loved and what they
hated. If you have parents who give you a quick lesson in drosophilae
gender identification and state of reproductivity when they hand
capture random fruit flies that happen to zigzag past the dinner
table you either grow up to be an animal science major like our
second son, or to avoid college bio classes completely by becoming
a software engineer like our first.
This
homeschooling adventure led us down paths I had never anticipated.
I carry snapshots in my head of sons halter training a camel in
the snow, bargaining in Spanish in a market in Honduras, singing
in a cathedral in England wearing the formal vestments of choir
boys, barefoot while picking tomatoes under the hot sun with a
woman from Cameroon. I shake my head in disbelief remembering
that while dressed in four layers of winter clothing I videotaped
a son in shorts and jersey playing a crucial soccer game in a
near blizzard.
Along
the way I learned that if a son said he could do something, he
probably could. Who was I to tell my fourteen-year-old that boys
do not learn to dance jazz tap in talent shows by watching old
movies, attaching metal plates to sneakers and practicing for
two months in the basement to Duke Ellington? He did it and his
act was a huge hit.
The
official homeschooling adventure is nearly over for us. John Paul
is married, living in Boston, a graduate of Northeastern University
working as a software engineer. Ben is a senior at UMASS Amherst
majoring in animal science and spending his summers working for
Heifer International. Damon spent the summer as an intern in an
engineering research and development department of St. Gobain.
He'll finish his associate's degree in engineering at Quinsigamund
Community College this year and transfer from there to a four
year college as he moves towards a career in either material or
bio-engineering, or maybe both. Gabe, at 16, the only one to officially
still be homeschooling, works as a lifeguard, swim team coach,
and makes training videos for lifeguard training courses. His
formal internships in carpentry began this year as he continues
to explore career options that mesh with his interests. The official
adventure may be almost over, but the thrill of finding the best
place and way to learn what you want to learn, I hope, will never
end.
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